Return to Struggleville Lyrics

1. death by shotgun.

He's been out of work for months, but still dresses for the office & kisses his wife goodbye, & heads for his park bench. Every morning briefcase in hand, just can't seem to tell her, inside he's no longer a man. He looks through the paper convinced that nobody wants him hands to his side in surrender, chest caved in. His eyes half open, not tired, but not awake, & he spends his days hoping for an end to the headache. & he writes it all down, about everything & nothing talks about his kids, & how he wants to leave 'em something. He's got a thing for pain, & blocks it all with his heart, & to keep from going insane, he puts it all in his art. & that eases his mind, but it never lasts long he keeps repeating to himself: you gotta be strong, you gotta be strong. But he just can't seem to put it all together tries to think of the ways that it could all be better. His family & his life no longer compel him he talks to himself, & says: you gotta swim. He's tired of the sickness & begs for the insulin. Tries to keep above water, prays for the will to win. He wants to be a good father, but he knows that he's not one, & dreams of eating a barrel full of death by shotgun.

2. a song from a knife salesman to his wife on their wedding day.

well darling this is it, & I'm not a complicated person. you're all I've got, well I mean you're all I'll ever need. just like you are, you look like you could use these open arms. & with these broken arms, I'll try & hold you all together. you spun the wheels on this rusty heart, & I'll never be the same. & we're no accident you & i, though sometimes we won't survive the crash. I'll be your ambulance, I'll let you sleep right here inside of me. let it leave a scar when it heals, so we can remember what not to do. it's those natural tattoos that I love, drawn over every inch of you. It's our only map, it's all we'll ever have to offer. & all I am is for you, until I'm tied down to my coffin. I'm not that good with words, I'll try my hardest anyways. & they get caught in my throat no matter how loud I scream them out. grow old with me, I can't seem to say it any more convincingly & God that scares me.

so take another step, take another step, take another step for me. take two more steps, & then you'll rest, but just one more step for me. take another step, take another step, take another breath for me. take two more steps & I'll let you rest, but just one more step towards me.

Well i'm sure that this is it, our song's playing anyways. so let's go dance, like ghosts just happy to be alive. we're so much stronger, than anything they've ever taught us to fear. & that's my plan, it's thin i know but it'll stand up just the same. so take my hand, hold it like your life depends & close your eyes. & take a step, I want to be the ground right there like it's always been. you pulled the pin, & asked me to hold your heart together. but not with words, you crash landed right here inside my hands. my little bird, let's go & fly this globe all over. & show them how, our love does fill up all the oceans. I don't deserve you, & I'll probably fail you in almost every single way. & so I'm sorry, love your husband on your wedding day.

3. it's time for drastic measures they're not taking you seriously.

& when the music stops, all we have are words merely so listen up, they're not taking you seriously. & i'd write the words, if i only knew what you needed touch you in the heart...Try & stop the bleeding. & all i want is for you to be ok i'll do anything for you you just say the word. & i'll write the words, & tell everyone our story. Try & touch their hearts hope they don't ignore me. & all i want is for us to be ok i'd give my life for just say the word. & i'll say the words, it's what i do it's not my choice. They touch me in my heart, i try & give em all a voice. & i don't want it if it's easy. I can't have it until i've really worked for it. Because all you'll have is this idiot. But i'll write the words, & if you give me 5 minutes. I might break your heart, But we're just beginning. & all i want is for our you to be ok i'll do anything for you just say the words. & i'll spread the word as far as this body can reach. Try & find their hearts, no matter how deep. & i'll die for you i love you all with all i am. I'll do anything for you just say the word. & when i've stopped believing. I hope you'll pick up all these pieces that i'm leaving. Because you don't want me if i'm cutting all these corners.

& when the music stops, all we have are words merely so listen up, they're not taking you seriously. They don't respect you, it might be your managing style. If they neglect you, you might try not being kind. When no one likes you, it's time to start docking their pay. What if they hurt you, you might try filing a complaint. But remember sticks & stones, & stick those stones where you can use em again, make em bruise when you send that they'll lose in the end, when they feel your revenge. But right now's the time, & it's got to be drastic. Trying to hold it all together with prayer & some plastic ties, no matter what the size. I try & try, & die. A little death every time i close my eyes, & resurrect & pass right by. Another day, another chance another window, but they're not taking you seriously though. We're downsizing your accounts. We're all hoping things will bounce. We got to do what's right for the economy. We have to let you go, because we have no more money. They're not taking you seriously. Your oblivious & can't feel shame. It must be how you carry yourself. Your the only one to blame. So listen up. & when i've stopped believing. I hope you'll pick up all these pieces that i'm leaving. Because you don't want me if i'm cutting all these corners. I've been cutting all these corners. These corners.

4. the music that the angels do.

i want to be the insulin the needle medicines instrument. With every increment, killing it, filling it, then revealing that. Although presumptuous with the outcome where doubt runs in large sums. I speak the words given to me like spouts run. Whispered through the moon, sky, fire, water, & the earth. To these ears & eyes aspires this father to birth. Listeners don't be so sure when that time comes a knocking. That you haven't been watching that wrong clock. Tic talking to you, telling you it's alright, it's ok, follow me, forget what you're doing let's all go this way. But if you listen, if you really try to be that silent person. You'll know that you need some more time for rehearsing. You're on the clouds now, go there, don't worry for us. You're where you dreamed about, sung about, don't think about us. & although grim words reap what they sow. As the angels sing their songs so you know. You think you know, but you don't because we all have to die. & we fight it, we fight it like we can win against the sky. Or time or death or youth or earth or what we have. It's what the angels do for all it's worth, so here's a stab. It's not rap, or rock it's not pop or independent. It's the language of love, & death with every remnant.. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes scissors & it all falls apart. People it all falls apart & you're left holding your heart. Massaging it hard, but you can't get it to start.

& they sing for us, but we don't want to hear it. They watch over us, & we hide our own spirit. Well they do it all for love just to keep us brand new. It's the music that the angels do. Oh they sing for us, but all we seem to do is hide. They watch out for us, & we keep it all inside. See they do it for love, even though we're all used. It's the music that the angels do.

you're not drinking enough there buddy to drown out the sound. So take it easy there young one we're all lost & found people. With profound calling all bound & falling together. But no matter whether your to my arm or to foot. I'll hold you out like you're my heart & let people read this book. It doesn't have a sound, but oh i'll let it fill my ears. You can't touch it, smell it, see it, but it will bring you years. It's knowledge, it's wisdom, it's so much more than right now. It's in your breath, it gives you life, it's the answer to all your hows. & i'm nothing i really believe that in the grand scheme of things. I'm just doing my part trying to say these things to you from my heart. Let the tears drown out your thoughts & think closely of home. & if you can't compose yourself it's best to compose a poem. Right here where it's empty, from where it's empty & hurting. Let it float away like a feather or whatever but without burden. I'm a child & so are you, so let's learn it all again. Flip the page again & hit the stage of life again & again. I'm not scared anymore it's because of you who saw me through. The music that the angels do, i listen & translate what they say for you.

5. my five year plan.

trouble will find you she's an awfully cunning bird. & progress it blinds you it's in every lesson learned. Failure leaves more room for improvement masquerading as time well spent. Honesty is a noble tool i'm gonna learn to use it wisely. Reason outweighs the rules when i lead with you behind me. Loyalty sadly held prisoner & pity is her only visitor. I want to live for a living, buddy i want to live for a living my five year plan.

well i'm going to iron out all of life's disappointing wrinkles. Cover them with plastic when it pours we won't feel he sprinkles. & of course i want to grow but brother this is all i know. I want to live for a living. I want to live for a living my five year plan. I've given my all, it's all that i have. I've given my all my all my all my five year plan.

we'll build a tiny quiet god to hold us console us, & buy a house that's made of hate. It will burn you & turn you. Practice makes a path towards a new start. I'll pack the ice around my stone heart. Accomplishment is the cross we'll bear i'll wear it like a coat. All dressed up in achievement responsibility around my throat. Squinting hard to see the finish line with one eye on the bottom line. I want to live for a living i'm gonna live for a living my five year plan. My five year plan.....My five year plan.

hindsight is a priceless jewel but i've never been one for clarity. I'm gonna hold fast to all i know even if it's just barley. & of course i want to grow, but sister this is all i know. I'm gonna live for a living. I'm gonna live for a living my five year plan. My five year plan.....My five year plan. I've given my all, it's all that i have. I've given my all my all my all my five year plan.

6. what would you do if i'm not what i'm supposed to be, because i'm not.

i pull the pin off the grenade & toss it gently in the middle. Honey let's not kid ourselves, that's the devil with his fiddle. He's playing our song again, & it's starting to rub off. I clench my teeth to pass the pain, but my jaw is turning soft. This eagles eye view is killing it all for me. You've got full access to the heart, but all you do is break the key. You might be model, but are you willing to play your role. Buried deep inside that bottle is a window to the soul. & you have to tell me what it is that's so amazing. From the outside looking in it doesn't seem worth saving. You plea for bargains, mercy, grace, & all the rest, but i can't seem to give it to you, with this boulder on my chest. & i want it gone, but you won't take it anymore. Here's another string of words i've saved from the killing floor.

what would you think if i sang out of tune, would you stand up & walk out on me? What would you do if i'm not what i'm supposed to be? Lend me your ears & i'll sing you a song, & i'll try not to sing out of key. What would you do if i'm not what i'm not what i’m supposed to be?

stress & life get packaged like forks & knives. One for destroying & another for stabbing insight. Just a few more miles with this plastic carrot in sight. I'm tired of pulling you suckers, but i'll do my job tonight. I stretch these old bones & take a good look at my reflection, but i can't see anything that's really worth a mention. Oh, there i am just a speck at the bottom, or more like a stain waiting to be forgotten. I'm an empty carcass, a hopeless case with a broken lock, but i'll be alright my skins thick like a wet blanket full of rocks. This is me, a reality, a skinless mess trying to hold it all together. Please don't let me be your goal, i'm a rusty car without leather. No sunroof, no fancy engine, & no cd. I'm all hubcaps, am/fm, & it costs extra if it's free . I will point at you, i will put you down. I will disappoint you every time i make these sounds. So leave now, forget me, save yourself instead. You are nothing. Love, the voice inside my head.

7. i have nothing but attention when i scream.

sometimes i feel like a square trying to fit in all the wrong circles. It's hard to see your dreams when you're eyes are black & purple. Getting broken by the beat down in each & every small town. Some call it love i call it a heart attack with a new sound. Population you & me tonight we're speaking gospel to a handful turn up the lights so we can see & put our problems on the anvil. This place is an ashtray & you're anything but: the used up end of a cigarette where the nicotine cuts. So...Follow this second hand smoke & mirrors routine we can all be friends i promise it won't hurt to bleed. These are my deaf dumb blind scribblings every single word. My only prayer is that they're regarded as retarded & never heard. This all i have it's all i know it's not a lot. All i have are words, here this is all i got.

hey i'm sorry because i've been gone such a long long time. please, i promise i'll be there for you.

i'd hit the pavement again but all my knuckles are broken, & there's no use saving them because all i'm doing is choking. It's another hundred miles on this long gray road i'm trying & another hundred dives in a row i'm diving in. That, glass of water so i can feel maybe something to fill this soul. We're all thirsty i know. Well i won't be your clown tonight. Sorry yall i've got no tricks, but i'm willing to take a look at what you need fixed. & that's all i have to offer i'm the cheap version of what you need. I'm a liar i cheat & i steal, it's all for me. This is my deepest secret please tell everyone you meet. This is all i have. I have nothing but attention when i scream.

8. ozark empire, or a snake oil salesman comes to your town.

i'd like to welcome all you suckers to struggleville say ahhh open up & take this pill. You'll sit down in your cubicle & eat when we tell you to & when your services are not needed here anymore, you'll clean out your desk by noon & no talking to the new kid security will see you all the way to the door. It's like a prison but we pay you more so you owe us more just lock your doors & feel real safe inside your house is no longer a good place to hide. Hey, there's no more corner office or golfing with the bosses you have a wife & kids to tell. That you got axed today & you lost your 401k you wear your necktie noose so well, & you march just like a natural, you are just what we're looking for. You're perfect in every single way so come & join our little army, of high class, beautiful, intelligent, talented, well adjusted, clean, listeners.

have you got a headache, cold, or aneurism working on a heart attack, with bad vision. Back hurts, can't breathe right, afraid to fall arthritis, hemorrhoids, high cholesterol. Embarrassed by your bad skin not good with the ladies, don't quite fit in. Too fat, too skinny, way too tall bring all your problems, because this will cure them all, this will cure em all, this might cure some of them.

It's ok, you're not a loser, you've just lost. You'll get used to 2nd best when considering the cost. You have to be born first, learn, & grow up fast. Work hard, love, & then come in last, & then work harder, for someone else's dollar & at the end of the day all you can do is borrow. Plastic saves lives when it's a hard hat people it's a mad world already, you're not making it easier. We've got the cure...We made the medicine...We have your answer it'll give you a headache, but it will fight all your cancers. So, take two of these & call me every hour there will be some internal bleeding, so just don't shower. If you're invisible or feeling miserable this is what you need. If you feel the need to breathe & just can't quite succeed you are the target audience indeed. First off you have to listen really really well try & discern what it is we have to sell. Just some smoke & mirrors with good looking people all around you. The way you do it is wrong, i'm glad we found you. Bait & switch, caveat emptor, fine print fine print so sign right here & everything else will be sent to your house in 12-16 weeks & depending on the postal service it might take a few more weeks. Don't worry we do this all the time we're professionals, just make sure you read the sign.

9. your life will never dull or your money back

Well i'm not sure what to put on the business card of life, but i'll sell it to you for cheap, & sharpen it for life. They always say your life will never dull or your money back. Well i want my money back. & i'll wear my best tie to get tied down. To the ties that bind, bound & tied to the ground. & they always say your life will never dull or your money back. Well i want my money back before my first heart attack. & if it comes & i'm not richer, then i'll rearrange the picture. Try & put it all together in a different type of way. If i get another shot at this my first goal is to make a wage that my family can be proud of as i struggle to make the grade. But they'll slowly become familiar with how they've been able to live. As my options keep getting smaller in concerns with how i'll give them this life, that i hate. I'll point the knife, at my hate. Did i say knife? I meant to say finger pointed at me. It's all my fault, i want it to be better without me. & they always say your life will never dull or your money back. I want my money back before my first heart attack See life's a job, & it's stopped taking applications. Your not right for the job anyways. They always say your life will never dull or your money back. beg for your money back.

We’ve all got to have it & stop at nothing have it, & if we don't we have it we've got to feed the habit. & if it doesn't work, just return the merchandise, & try it all again, buy it all again. We all want it, but don't necessarily need it. & if we don't get it, it's like we can't stop the bleeding. & if you're not happy, apply for a refund. & try it all again, buy it all again.

& i'm ready, i've been bracing for it all my life. & i'm empty, i've been waiting for someone to point it out. & i'm dependable, it's my most adventurous quality. I'm predictable, it's what makes me unique like everyone else. & they always say your life will never dull or your money back. but I want my money back, & i don't know where to get it. & they always say your life will never dull or your money back. Well i want my money back before my first heart attack.

10. when no one else will be your friend i will do the job.

this song will keep you warm. This song will build you a house. This song will heal all that ails you. This song will be your very best friend. When you need a friend look for me, look for this song, because that's all you have. & this song will buy you clothes. This song is very very special. This song will give you soup when you're sick. This song will even pet your cat, when you don't want to anymore just look for me, & look for this song, because we'll help you along. This song is the catch all end all. Why are you doubting this songs abilities. This song is a sad sad song. This song is the song to end all songs. This song is one of the seven wonders. This song knows if you're not listening. & if you don't listen you won't reap the benefits. You won't understand what this song is saying. Other songs have tried to sing along, but they fail miserably & end up the laughing stock. This song is this song. Many have tried to sing this song. This song will teach you all about life. Let's all smile when this song tells us to. Hold your applause till the end of this song. Please don't try to sing the words to this song. This song is the radio single. This song has no genre & likes it. I will try to teach you, but this song can do it better. When no one else will be you're friend i'll do the job. When no one else will be you're friend i'll do the job. I want the job, i filled out in the only application. This song will help you when you're short on rent. This song will pay all the cab fare. You will always love this song, like you love a puppy, or a baby, or your family. This song will be the cure for cancer. This song will run for president & win. This song will surpass all of your doubts. This song has been ok'd by nasa. So, it's ok & it's alright. Let's all be happy, & practice good posture. Let's all sign where they tell us to. Let's all form a straight line & march to nowhere. This song will be your leader. This song will confuse but you'll like it. You will give this song all of your money. You will give this song everything you love. You will sing this song to all that you know, & then bring all their belongings to this song. So let's all tell a friend about this song. & try to sing along, try to sing along.

11. officer you have the wrong man i am not that man.

officer don't haul me in i've not had a drink for weeks, but tonight they were screaming at me again at least i didn't punch her in her teeth. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, & she can't be talking loud like that. I wish you knew what i'm going through, but she's a whole different person when i pull out the bat. I only wanted to scare her. I promised i would never hurt her, but when she talks about leaving i go awol & treat her like a deserter. I'll be honest with you i needed a fix, & you can take me in if that's a crime. You probably think i'm stupid but i've lost a lot of blood & i'm seeing lines. I apologize for disturbing the peace. Please tell the public that i'm very very sorry, but this is my house & i'll voice my opinions if i want to. i never thought she would stab me so far. She always argued with a knife in her hand, but i think that she loves me very very much & it's all my fault.

officer don't haul me in i'm dying here & i need a drink. Tonight she was screaming at me again. So i laid down the law she was standing by the sink. Honestly it was probably my fault because i was just trying to scare her. But before i knew it she put a knife in my ribs. So far in that i couldn't even blink. She left the house, please try & catch her, she'll want to say goodbye. You could probably say we've got it all mixed up. I don't like it this way it's just how it is. I can't figure out how we got this far. It's probably my drinking we didn't need it. I always ordered up a temper when i left the bar, & then i brought it home for us to feed it. I don't know why we fought like this. I can't believe that i'm dying on my floor. What's gonna happen to my kids? Tell them mommy loved them, & daddy did more. i'm sorry that they had to see the whole thing. I'm a monster & they know it you know this is no place for a kid to grow up in though it's better this way.

officer just let me be i've lost too much blood & i need a drink. Stop trying to patch me up. I've made a mess of it all & i need a drink. I don't know why we lived like this. I can't believe that i'm laying here .I don't know if i'll be missed. Don't let my kids see me here. I know that we all get to die. So pull apart my ribs & let some sun inside.